Banter at Work: How Much Is Too Much?

Banter. It’s something most small teams rely on to build rapport, lift morale, and keep things light. In many workplaces, it’s a sign of close-knit culture. But what happens when the jokes go too far? When does “just having a laugh” cross the line – and what responsibility do you, as an employer, have to step in?

As an HR consultant who’s worked with SMEs for over 30 years, I can tell you this: the biggest risk with banter isn’t always what’s said – it’s what’s left unchallenged.

The Problem with “It Was Just a Joke…”

In a small team, banter can quickly become personal. And when humour touches on someone’s gender, race, religion, disability, sexuality, age – or any other protected characteristic – it can be classed as harassment under the Equality Act 2010.

And the kicker? It doesn’t matter if the intention wasn’t to offend. If the person on the receiving end finds it offensive, and a tribunal agrees it was reasonable for them to feel that way, you as the employer can be liable.

Typical scenarios we have encountered include conversations such as a manager calling a younger member of the team “snowflake” for getting upset over jokes about her appearance.  The manager sees it as a bit of workplace banter – the individual sees it as repeated, belittling behaviour.

Was it malicious? No. Was it legally risky and avoidable? Absolutely.

Banter Isn’t Always Harassment – But It Still Hurts

Even when jokes don’t cross into legal territory, they can chip away at team morale. I’ve worked with businesses where new employees were teased in the name of “initiation” or long-serving staff were the butt of “it’s just how we are here” comments. Eventually, people withdraw, disengage – or walk.

And let’s not forget: reputations matter. In today’s world, one poor review or Glassdoor comment about inappropriate workplace culture can do real damage to recruitment and retention.

So What Should Employers Do?

You don’t need to ban all humour – just build a workplace where respect and inclusivity are the foundation.

Here’s my go-to advice for business owners and managers:

Set the Tone from the Top

Culture starts with leadership. Whether you’re the business owner, a line manager, or a team leader, your behaviour sets the benchmark. If you laugh along with inappropriate jokes, shrug off uncomfortable comments, or use divisive humour yourself, your team will assume that’s the acceptable standard.

Even staying silent can send the wrong message.

Instead, be intentional. Lead with empathy, respect, and inclusiveness. Be the one to shift the conversation if something crosses the line. Your silence or laughter can be interpreted as approval—so make sure you’re reinforcing the right behaviours.

Remember: What you walk past, you accept.

Have a Policy (Even a Simple One Will Do)

You don’t need pages of legalese. A straightforward policy in your staff handbook or employee code of conduct that outlines acceptable behaviour, expected language, and how to report concerns is enough to give clarity—and protect your business.

Ensure it includes a definition of bullying and harassment (including jokes and “banter”); has a clear complaints procedure and there is a genuine commitment to dignity and respect at work.

The key is not just having them—but making sure everyone reads and understands them.

Address It Early – Nip It in the Bud

As we often tell our clients: you don’t need to wait for a formal complaint to take action. In fact, early intervention is usually the best way to avoid escalation.

If you overhear something inappropriate, don’t ignore it—address it casually but clearly:

“Let’s steer away from those kinds of jokes here.”

“That comment might come across the wrong way—let’s keep it respectful.”

Often, a simple nudge is all that’s needed. Leaving things unchecked allows issues to fester and grow, especially in close-knit teams. Early correction shows you’re paying attention—and that you care about your people.

Train Your Managers (and Yourself)

You don’t need a full-day course—just an hour or two of practical guidance can be eye-opening for managers.

Make sure your team leaders understand what kinds of banter cross the line and that it is their responsibility to stop inappropriate behaviour.   It is essential that they understand how to respond if a team member raises a concern and understanding the risks of inaction (including legal consequences)

We’ve run many training sessions with our clients, and they’re often surprised how much they didn’t know—and how much confidence a bit of training can build. If you want a session tailored to your business, we’d be happy to help.

Make It Safe to Speak Up

In small teams, employees can worry about being labelled “too sensitive” or “a troublemaker” if they raise concerns—especially if the person joking is well-liked or senior.

Create a culture where people feel safe to say:

“That made me uncomfortable,” or

“Can we talk about something that happened?”

Make it clear that concerns will be taken seriously, handled confidentially, and won’t result in retaliation.

It helps to remind your team that raising a concern isn’t about “getting someone in trouble”—it’s about keeping your workplace welcoming for everyone.

When Banter Becomes Sexual Harassment

One of the most common areas where banter goes too far is around sexually suggestive comments, innuendos, or jokes. This includes things like:

Commenting on someone’s appearance or clothing in a sexual way

Jokes about sex, gender roles, or sexual orientation

Nicknames like “babe”, “honey”, or “hot stuff”

Inappropriate messages or images sent in work chats

Even if said in jest—and even if the person doesn’t complain right away—this kind of banter can constitute sexual harassment under the Equality Act 2010.   What’s more, as you will know, from October 2024, all employers will have a new legal duty to take proactive steps to prevent sexual harassment in the workplace. That means doing nothing is no longer an option.

I have heard it so many times from clients that the comment was said in jest, and the individual thought it was harmless. But the person on the receiving end feels humiliated, especially in circumstances where it happened in front of others.

These situations can be avoided with clear boundaries, manager awareness, and early intervention.

Remember:

You don’t need to wait for a complaint. If you know there’s inappropriate humour in your workplace—sexual or otherwise—you have a legal and moral obligation to act.

The Bottom Line

Workplace banter isn’t the problem – disrespect disguised as humour is. If in doubt, ask: Would I be okay with this comment being said to my partner, my daughter, my parent – or repeated in front of a tribunal judge?

Creating a respectful culture doesn’t mean you lose the fun. It means your team can relax, enjoy work, and feel safe – and that’s good for business.

Managing workplace banter isn’t about being overly politically correct or removing all humour—it’s about creating an environment where no one feels singled out, disrespected, or unsafe.

With a few proactive steps, you can protect your team, reduce your risk, and build a stronger workplace culture where people genuinely enjoy coming to work.

If you need help reviewing your policies or delivering awareness training tailored to your team, we’re here to support you.